GRINDR TO BOYFRIEND?
I've hooked up with this guy from Grindr a few times and now I'm thinking that maybe I'd like to hang out some time and not have it just be sex. I'm really nervous about bringing this up because I remember his profile said "looking for fun" and I don't know if he'd even want to. When we hook up the sex is great and I think we have chemistry, but he doesn't ever try to hang out or talk after. I'm not even 100% sure why I like him or want to hang out more, because I don't know that much about him. IDK- is it weird to ask someone you know from Grindr to be more than just a f*** buddy?
Online dating or meeting people from apps is extremely common now, it seems like anyone who is single can be found on one of them. There are a lot of benefits to apps like this. For example, they make it possible for you to meet people you might not otherwise, people that have the same sexual interests as you, and people who may want a similar connection as you. And, there are a million different things you might want. It could be dating, sex, or even friends. Everyone on there could be looking for something different, which can also be confusing. Here is this guy that you enjoy the sex with, but how can you tell if there is something else there? Is there the possibility that more could happen? It's completely normal to wonder about the potential of a relationship with someone when you're already having sex with them and enjoying it. I think there are a couple ways you can find out if any more cards should be placed on the table. 1) Just flat out drop him a text and ask him to go and do something. It could be as simple as "Hey, want to grab a drink?" 2) The next time that he's over, try to strike up a conversation when he arrives or before he leaves. If he doesn't respond or rushes out the door, that's probably a sign he isn't looking for anything more. 3) You could also just ask him if he wants to go on a "date".
Personally, I'd go with number 1. It gives him the opportunity to say yes/no and also an opportunity for him to offer a different time or event if he does want to but can't at the moment. Another reason I think this is a good idea is because it doesn't seem like you even know if you want to actually go on a formal date with him or not. It seems like you don't even really know the person, so maybe just hanging out where the focus of the event isn't just sex would be a good start. It's entirely possible that you might go and get a drink with this guy and find out he's terrible and you don't want to hang out with him at all. Which, could also mean you may no longer want to have sex with him. That's a risk you'll have to decide if you're willing to take. Is finding out who he really is worth potentially giving up the sex you're enjoying?
I'm sure there are people reading this thinking you should look at his profile and read what it says he's looking for. Yes, this could give you a broad indication, but I don't think it's necessarily accurate. You don't know when he last updated it, or if it's honest to how he feels today. It's entirely possible that it says looking for "fun", "friends", "now", "maybe more", but that doesn't mean it still matches what he thinks now. In fact, you likely have a friend in a relationship who met their partner on Grindr and at least one of them wasn't "looking for a relationship" when they met. I say, just put out some feelers and see how he responds. Yes, it is possible to meet a boyfriend on a hook-up app.