If you’re single:
Valentine’s Day, February 14th- possibly the most dreaded day that every “single” person in America can’t wait to pass. As such, this seems like the best day to launch a website about sex, love, and relationships. If you’re single this year for Valentine’s Day, I have some news for you- you have a date! Yes, you heard me correct! You have a date that is dependable, on-time, always up for doing what you want, always around to listen to you and will most likely have sex with you at the end of the night! You have yourself. Yes, I know, you’ve heard this before. But, have you ever actually taken yourself out for a date? I don’t mean going to a movie alone (although this could qualify), I’m talking about getting dressed up for yourself, doing your hair for yourself, putting on cologne/perfume for yourself and going to your favorite restaurant? If you have, great! If you haven’t, I can’t recommend anything better to shake the V-day blues. Sure, there might be couples seated around you gazing into each other’s eyes, holding hands, maybe you’ll even catch a proposal- but how wonderful is that for those people? Maybe you want those things from someone else, but what do you want from yourself? This year, I challenge you to take yourself out, to fall in love with yourself- laugh at your own jokes and order yourself dessert (if you’re alone you don’t even have to act like you really just wanted half anyways). When we spend time with ourselves, we learn more about ourselves than anyone else could ever tell us. Question yourself. After dinner, take a walk through a park, buy yourself flowers- a stuffed animal- chocolates. Do the things for yourself and thank yourself for taking care of yourself and giving yourself what you want and desire.
“I want to fall in love, but I just keep meeting the same people.”
I often hear people talk about how when they date someone that person doesn’t always treat them the way they would like to be treated. This might be an opportunity for you to look at how you treat yourself. If you want others to treat you with kindness, dignity and respect, you must start with treating yourself that way.
If you were in a relationship, how would you know it was healthy? How would you know the person cares about you? Would you be able to identify it? How would you know if the person wasn’t right for you? Often, we run headfirst with blinders into experiences with people- we ignore the things we don’t want to see and then we are confused when we stumble. If you are someone who has dated “the same person” with a different face over and over again, there is only one common denominator in the equation, and it’s you.
Are you not satisfied in bed? How would you know you are? Have you taken the time to really explore your body? The shapes, folds, creases, hard parts, smooth spots, bumpy spots, have you run your fingers gently over the ridges of your ears? We have to learn how to touch ourselves before we can tell others how to touch us- before we can even fully understand what we like.
This Valentine’s Day, don’t sit at home or be sad- take yourself out on a date and spend time getting to know yourself, loving yourself. And then go home and explore your body- be your own Christopher Columbus.
If you’re in a relationship:
Congratulations, you have a valentine! Hopefully the person you’re with isn’t a dick the other 364 days of the year. If that person is, enjoy today and then get rid of the dead weight tomorrow. I say this in jest, however, there is a bit of truth to it. I am not someone who is anti-Valentine’s Day, I think it is a great holiday. However, I hope that most people in relationships take the time to show their loved ones that they care about them on a regular basis. It is a wonderful feeling to know that you’re with someone who respects and cares for you, but how do you know? When was the last time you looked into the eyes of your beloved and told that person all the things you admire and love about them? Take time to do that today- think about it before hand. Are you even aware why you love the person you’re with? Or, do you love them- is that something that has been spoken about before?
One kernel of advice I would have for people who are in “happy” relationships, is to remember your friends and loved ones that may not be- well, even the ones that you think are as well. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be just about you and your partner, it is a day to celebrate every single meaningful relationship you have in your life.