My boyfriend wants to have a threesome with one of my friends. I'm not bi or anything, but I'd still do it, like it'd probably be fun or whatever. I guess I just like don't want it to change our relationship, or make it lose value. I've always sort of looked down on people who have threesome, like can it still be considered a real relationship? What do you think?
Based on your message, it doesn't sound like you're really into having the threesome to begin with. Are you just thinking about it because he wants to? Or, is it something you're also curious about? If you're not into it, I'd definitely say you should make that known. With that said, there are sometimes things we do in relationships for our partner that we might not otherwise be into, but that's a line that's different for everyone. Perhaps this is within the realm of things that you're comfortable with, and that's fine too. Past you being into it or not, it also seems you're concerned about what you might think about your relationship after because you've looked down on others for having them. What you're expressing isn't uncommon. It's often easy for us to look down on what other people do when we aren't in a similar situation and then more difficult when we are. So, maybe this is a bit more complicated than saying this is or isn't a "real" relationship. Your concerns about having a threesome and it changing the "value" is also a valid concern and there is really no way to tell how you're going to feel after. In our society, "monogamy" is the default, but that doesn't work for everyone. And, having a threesome one time doesn't mean you have to have one again, or that you're now in an open-relationship. You should sit down and have a discussion with your boyfriend about your concerns, about what you want out of the situation, your expectations for after, and of course his too. For example, you said this possible third is a friend of yours. How will you feel about the friendship after? Are there rules about who can talk to who after the sex? Would you feel differently if it was someone random instead of a friend? If you decide to go forward, with your friend or someone else, have a set of rules that are agreed upon by you and your boyfriend (i.e. who initiates, protection, what behaviors are ok [kissing, intercourse, oral, sleeping over]). It's important that the special guest is also aware of the rules that apply to them, they are also a person, and not just there for the two of you to use (unless of course they are into that).
Best of Luck!